Milestones often kick off a time of contemplation for me. It’s like I’m just walking down a path – la di da di da – and suddenly I look up! And I see how far I’ve come! And I see my surroundings aren’t the same as when I started!
So I stop. And take stock. And think. And eventually start walking again. The time I spent around our 10th wedding anniversary (10 years! It stopped me cold.) ended up being a hard period – but the work I did, the therapy I accepted, the communication built between Andrew and me, I feel is so for the good now.
This past week had a series of milestones all in a row, which means I’m feeling extra-contemplative:
– my brother and his wife had their first son, Charlie, who is named after my grandfather who passed away this past Christmas.
– Andrew turned 40. 40!
– I found a grey hair in my eyebrow (I know, what?) and had what I’m pretty certain was my first hot flash this morning. This plus a couple of other symptoms leads me to think my body is saying “Welcome to the early days of perimenopause, Erika. How ya doin’?” (Answer – a little WTF about the whole thing, but in general just fine. Yes, going to doctor just in case it’s something else.)
All of these things are good things, or rather, to be expected things, normal things, things on the path…but I’m standing still and mulling right now. Gonna swim down into the depths for a little bit, and am interested to see what I bring back to the surface with me.