I currently start each day the same way.
Alarm #1 goes off. I turn it off and get back in bed. I lie on my back and put my hand over my heart and acknowledge that I am already stressed. My heart rate is already elevated, cortisol is already coursing through my bloodstream, the weight of the world is coming down on me and before I have even begun I have already failed.
Then I pray. It goes something like this, “Hi, God, it’s me again. Good morning. I don’t have the strength to do all the work you have given me to do. Wait, is it all from you? Or did I take on some without realizing it? Whatever, this? This isn’t gonna happen on my strength alone. But I can do anything through your strength, so let’s take some deep breaths together and remind my body I’m not alone in this, okay? A-men.”
Then I breathe. I listen to the birds outside. Sometimes to Isaac in his room waiting for his clock to turn yellow. Sometimes Andrew stirs and puts an arm over me. Sometimes I stay awake and sometimes I drift back into sleep.
But when the second alarm (#2) goes off 15 minutes later, my hand is still over my heart, I am breathing calmly, and I feel I can face this new day.
Know thyself, am I right?