It seems completely audacious to state that I think God manipulated my schedule, my responsibilities, my commitments…but darn it, it can be read that way.
I was staring down a hard, busy, week. Big project due at work on Friday, Eating Liturgically “grand opening” on Sunday (so much content to get up there. So. Much.), church meetings, and taking down Thanksgiving and putting up Advent and that darn Elf to work out and…a lot.
So, I did what I dinstinctly should not have done yesterday, and I took the day off. I mean, I taught my morning Jazzercise class, and then I took a shower…and then I made nachos…and then I sat down on the couch to watch one epidode of Mr. Robot before logging in to work (I work from home on Mondays). Which turned into two episodes. Which evolved into a nap on the couch. When my phone alarms went off to go get the boys, I got them, and then sat right back down on that couch.
Not good. Not good at all.
I checked e-mail Monday night, and not one person e-mailed me at work. Not one. So I figured I’d come clean to my direct supervisor tomorrow, put in extra hours this week if I needed to, but I simply would have to get my rear in gear today, Tuesday.
And I couldn’t sleep with the stress of it. So, I prayed. God, I said, I can’t. I just can’t. I know I should be askign for strength, and trusting, and all that good stuff, but I just can’t.
It wasn’t my best prayer. Kinda whiny-pants, actually.
Yet, even. I got to work today…and the big project has been postponed until FEBRUARY. I’m 80% done already, and it’s not due until February! “I hope you didn’t spend all day yesterday on it,” says my supervisor, at which point I say, “ahem” and come clean and she laughs and says “good! You deserve a day off – anytime you need, just do it – you always get the work done. Just…drop me a text next time.” Phew! (Note to reading audience – I’m paid hourly and I make my own hours – if I want a day, they will gladly not pay me as much, you know?)
And then, I hustle home to walk the dog and get the kids and get to my meeting…which I check my e-mail before I go and it’s canceled!
Hey, God? I say. Um…thanks! I, um, what can I do for you now?
So, I wrote an e-mail to my confirmation mentee (I’m her mentor – what would she be called?) about Advent and joyful expectation, and how it’s actually kind of hard to be in a consistent state of joyful anything, let alone expectation, and what does she think about Advent? And that felt good.
And I planned out when and how I would get Eating Liturgically ready. And that felt good.
So, audacious and I don’t know how this all works. I just feel…taken care of.