Erika's Blog : News

Happy Birthday, Isaac!

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:45:52 -0400

Andrew made Isaac a delicious gluten-free casein-free chocolate cake with almond-sugar icing - yum.

When Isaac saw the cake with candles, his whole face lit up and he said "BIRTHDAY!"

He did not eat any of the cake, but loved that it was there. He opened his own presents, and excitedly gasped as each one revealed the treat inside.

This is the first year he's really gotten the whole "birthday" thing - that's a lot of social cues for an autistic kid - and I'm so proud of my FIVE YEAR OLD.

Nice end to a nice holiday weekend - the Noles won their football game on Saturday, we got to see the NY Planks and show them about Ridgefield then partake in yummy taco night goodness on Sunday, and on Monday we chilled and did birthday stuff. Nice.

First Day Of Kindergarten Recap

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:00:20 -0400

Well, for us Kindergarten really began on Tuesday afternoon. Isaac's elementary school invited us to a "Meet Your Teacher" Open House, which silly me assumed was just for Kindergartners. Oh, no, my friends - PreK - 5th grade. So, we arrive to a ridiculously crowded parking lot, and there were so many kids and families and babies in strollers, etc, that Isaac didn't want to get out of the car. I got out of the car, grabbed the two bags of school supplies we were dropping off, and contemplated leaving him in the car. Not seriously, not for more than a moment...but the thought was there.
I sweet talked him out somehow (I think "when we get home you can have sausage and movies and a pony" might have been said...), and we walked into the crazy loud school. These events? Not designed for autistic kids.
I didn't even bother trying to fight through the crowd of people looking for their teacher's room numbers on a little list on the front bulletin board; I instead marched Isaac and myself in to the front office, which knows us well from our past two years of preK and early pick-ups for doctor's appointments and such.
"Hi. Where's Mrs. Meyer's room?"
"Well, it's on the list..."
"I'd really appreciate it if you could help me out here..." I pushed my tummy out a little more than necessary to highlight the pregnancy, and gestured to my very fidgety special needs five year-old.
"Of course, Mrs. Hagan, just a minute."
Sweet.

So, we went to Mrs. Meyer's room, which was thankfully quieter. Isaac said hi and waved to her, and let her take his photo for somethin' or 'nother (he even said "cheese!"), and then spotted the computer set up in the corner. While I handed over our school supplies (biting my tongue as the unbidden thought "here are all the supplies for the typical kids to play with*" rose and almost came out of my mouth), he walked over to the PC, pulled up a chair, and said "co-ooter, please" (which I know sounds mildly naughty, but is how he says computer...). I said, "no buddy, not here, but we can play computer at home"...and he nicely got up and moved, but was then pretty much done with the Kindergarten room.
The other kids were pretty sweet - clearly a little overwhelmed and scared, and cautiously playing with some of the toys. Isaac's been going to this school for 2 years already, but most of them have been doing preschool elsewhere - and this is a big elementary school (at least, compared to my elementary schools in Oberlin) with lots of big kids running around.

Isaac was ready to be DONE, but I wanted to check out the RISE classroom - forgive me, I forget what RISE stands for, but it's the K-1st grade classroom for kids on the autism spectrum. I asked for the room number, we walked down the hall...into Isaac's old ABA room! Hallelujah! They used the same space, and you could see Isaac's body language just relax. It was quieter down this hallway, and he was so excited to be in the room.
They'd added a big ball pit since the summer, and Isaac took a big running leap into it, and didn't leave it for 30 minutes, happily covering himself in plastic balls, then bursting out shouting "there he is!" (the answer to "where's Isaac?, don't you know...).
"Do you all mind if we stay? He's been pretty stir crazy at home..."
"Not at all - hang out!"
Sweet.

I adore the RISE classrooms...that's right, plural! I don't know how they finagled it, but the class is 6 kids (4 K, 2 1st), and there are 3 in each room, and tons of space for community activities, and private therapies, and they have a sensory-free dark corner, and it just felt so welcoming to Isaac compared with the perfectly nice, but not really for him, Kindergarten room.
Isaac's old ABA therapist had left a care package for him and his new therapist, with his favorite foods and toys, and a new Dora the Explorer movie for them to use as a reward. I was so touched that she wanted to be sure he was taken care of in his new class, and that the new therapist had spent all summer observing him working with the old ABA therapist to be sure she was ready to hit the ground running.
Suddenly, this all seemed pretty good. I had been a little disheartened that we weren't really, truly, ready for mainstream Kindergarten, which had been a sort of goalpost of sorts for us...but that the school created this space which really will work for Isaac, and that the staff is so caring and on the ball - well, how lucky are we. How really, truly, blessed.

Isaac will be in the RISE classroom only this week, and most of next, while they train the para-professionals (aka "Paras", people who basically shadow and help the children negotiate the school-day, and do some of the ABA trials and tracking), and then he'll be in the RISE classroom for most of the day, but will be joining his Kindergarten class for some activities.
So, in case you're not keeping track, here's the people working with Isaac: Special-Ed RISE teacher (that's right, the school hired a whole new Special Ed teacher specifically for this classroom...), ABA therapist, one-on-one Para, back-up one-on-one Para, Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Kindergarten Teacher.

This is why we are still here in Ridgefield. Why we pay the ridiculous rent and higher cost of living (groceries are ridiculous) and have given up much of our own financial goals and stability. Let me tell you, most school systems do not devote these kinds of resources for one autistic boy.

The First Day itself was kind of anticlimactic from my perspective. He's been taking the bus to this school, staying all day, and taking the bus home for a year now - I dealt with those "he's so big!" emotions last year. Isaac was just thrilled to be going back to school, he didn't really have a sense that he was in a different grade now. His favorite new school things? His headphones (each Kindergartner has to have headphones...I know, crazy...) and his new lunchbox, featuring aliens with crazy eyeballs.
Our wacky bus company was true to form and forgot to tell the bus driver to pick Isaac up (even though I'd called 3 times the week before to make sure we were all set, and on the day before to confirm one last time...) - luckily I was mentally prepared for them to mess up, and called them and reminded them to please come get him - which they eventually did. It's one of our favorite drivers again, which is loverly...and she gave us her cell phone so we could deal directly with her and not mess with the wacky bus company. I suspect that's not on the up-and-up...
At 4:10, the bus pulled in front of our condo complex, and a very tired Isaac came off. "How was school?" I asked, and he answered by smiling, and leaning all his body weight into me...worn out! Last night at dinner, Isaac said, "I want bedtime, please" - a first for us.

And yes, my quiet day(s) at home have been delicious, and made all the more so by the knowledge that there's a time limit - early next semester, it will be me and Poppy at home when Isaac goes to school, and I remember those early-baby days as being wonderful - but not the most peaceful. I'm really enjoying this moment in time when I have been given the gift of a quiet home, a flexible work schedule, a son at all-day-long school, and a second trimester of energy and enthusiasm.

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*Snarky School Supplies Thoughts - well, two things. One, Isaac isn't going to be in the Kindergarten classroom so much, so he won't be USING the supplies. And, two, many of the supplies are things he wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, for various sensory reasons. Example: He will not hold a crayon. Will. Not.
So, yeah, buying all these required things? I'm a teensy bit bitter. That's gluten-free pretzel money, there...

Hooray for Baby Ari!

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 09:29:42 -0400

I'm a little teary - my friend Emily, gave birth to little Ari Chaim at 6:17 am yesterday morning! I'm so happy for her and her husband, Jayme - much love from me to you, my dear friends.

I did have to laugh - Em and I have been chatting through various social media, and one of the common themes was that I couldn't WAIT for September and Isaac to back to school and she wanted August to hang around since she wasn't ready for September and the soon-to-be baby. Ha, Ari says, then I'll come in August instead!

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Isaac did start Kindergarten today, and I'll write up how that all went tomorrow - he was very happy to see the bus this AM, let me tell you what :)

Itchin' to be productive

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 12:11:16 -0400

I am so pumped.
August was a wash, because with Isaac home I couldn't do much housework (he'd just undo it) or deskwork (he'd run around the house destroying property or hurting himself).
May through July was a wash, because my first trimester was unbelievably hard on me, from ongoing nausea to extreme fatigue to what I can only describe as ennui.

4 months of not doing much.

I am NOT a "not doing much" kind of girl.

I am so pumped to get going again, with Isaac at school and my energy and appetite back.

I am also eager to get some credibility back. When you don't do much for four months, even people who know you well and love you kind of lose respect for you abilities to do things and are suspicious of your plans and enthusiasm to get them done. I mentioned today that getting laundry back on track would feel great, and Andrew said "well, don't get ahead of yourself..." and I was a little miffed. I, former laundry goddess, couldn't get laundry back on track?

So pumped. So, so, so, ready to have a dramatic action to my day again. (Baby Drama shout-out!)

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We're going back to school shopping for Isaac today, Kindergarten Supply list in hand. I heart school supplies, so this should be fun - although Isaac's lack of excitement for this aspect of going to school may be a little hard. It feels a bit like Isaac around Christmastime - he cares not for the rituals and anticipation, but does enjoy what comes his way. I just have to shift what I expected of Christmas with my kid to what Christmas really is with Isaac.
School Supply Shopping is not going to be as fun for him as I'd hoped...but that's okay.
(You think I can sneak a supply or two in for me as well? I'm out of label tape...)

Happy Caturday (3 more days till Isaac is FREE addition)!

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:58:29 -0400

Isaac is SO READY to not be at home during the day. Today, he came up to me and said, "I..want...bye-bye...outside..."

Sad, yes?

History lesson

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 09:44:37 -0400

Thanks for fighting so I have the constitutional right to vote, Sister Suffragettes!
90 Years ago yesterday, Aug 26th, the 19th amendment was ratified :) (Yes, we wish that it included women of color back then :( ).

Yay voting!

Bootilicious

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:02:41 -0400

Okay, so with my first pregnancy I pretty much gained weight in my tummy and that's it. I mean, sure, overall I gained weight, but the main bulk was where the baby was.

With this one so far it's going the same way, with one mondo big exception.

Junk. In. My. Trunk.

I mean, sure, I know this weight gain means I'm healthy and the baby needs those calorie stores and I'll get rid of it later through breastfeeding and massive Jazzercise sessions. I'm not stressed about it.

It just seems so undignified! Normal everywhere else, little baby bump in the front, and then this new booty comin' out of nowhere.

You think Sir Mix-A-Lot needs a back-up dancer?

Countdowns

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 09:52:55 -0400

3 more days until the weekend!
7 more days until the First Day Of School, and Isaac starts Kindergarten.
7 more days until I can be productive again.
10 more days until Hagan Family Weekend College Football Watching starts, with the Seminoles playing the Bulldogs in Tallahassee.
11 more days until Mark, Michele, and Lena come up to Ridgefield for Labor Day fun.
13 more days until Isaac's 5th birthday.
171 more days (approximately) till Poppy is born.

ODS is DONE; Isaac and Pregnancy gushing

erika@nospam.com (Erika) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:50:24 -0400

Hallelujah, the One Day Sale is done. I grossed over $1200 in one day, and thanks to online registration, did most of that in my sleep...neat, huh? Although who the heck signs up for Jazzercise after 10pm?
And don't get too excited - I net about 20% of what I gross, so the numbers are never as exciting as they seem...
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I realized I've been Isaac-whining and Poppy-Pregnancy-whining a lot, but haven't been so much with the bragging! So here you go:

Isaac:
- he's potty trained now! For about a year we've been at the "housebroken" stage - he wouldn't wet his pants (usually) but he wouldn't tell us when he had to go, either. I'd reconciled myself to just taking him every hour-or-so for the rest of his life. But one day, he woke up, and he got it. Now he either says "I want bathroom, please" or he just up and takes himself. It's a miracle.
May you never have to potty train an autistic child, is all I'm sayin'.
- talking! Lots of talking, lots of words, and (this thrills my heart) lots of singing going on 'round here. Not just "I want X", but lots of naming of things (he knows "sailboat!") and fun utterances like "Wonderpets save the day!" and "Everybody feels happy when they get a choice!" I know that last one seems really fortune cookie-ish, but it's from the super-cute TV show, Ni Hau, Kai-Lan, and isn't a bad life lesson ;)
- if you make him, Isaac can put on all his own clothes, from underwear and pants, to shirt, to socks and shoes. He prefers not to, thinking that we should dress him (which always reminds me of Mary in the Secret Garden when she first gets to the Moor and expects Martha to dress her...), but he *can* do it.
- we just got Isaac's Kindergarten classroom assignment (his teacher's name is Mrs. Meyer), and it hit me that he's in a mainstream Kindergarten class. Now, we all know he's going to be pulled out a LOT...but he's functioning well enough to be assigned to that class, instead of needing to be in a whole separate special school situation or (shudder) home-schooled. I'm proud of him - it's not easy for him, but he's doing it.

Poppy and Pregnancy:
- I am, indeed, "glowing".
- My dreams are vivid and amazing, and while at times exhausting, it's like having a movie in my head every night. I wake up and want to write it all down because it was so...wow...
- There are times when Isaac is leaning against me on the couch, and I have my arm around him, and one hand on Poppy in my belly, and I think "I have all my babies with me" and it's just wonderful. The shift to plural is such a natural one, and I had no idea it would be.
- I am in such good health, and am so lucky for that. All my pregnancy symptoms are pretty much just quirks of the system, not intrinsic, dangerous, worrisome things. I can dance and live my life and eat with gusto and not have to worry about bed rest or gestational diabetes or early labor or anything like that. How blessed am I.