Kai at 15 months
So this is a bittersweet milestone, our Kai turning 15 months. You see, 15 months is when Isaac was first evaluated and diagnosed with autism. They called it social communication delay with red flags for autism, but since then these researchers have shown that they can, in fact, diagnose autism as early as 15 months...in part thanks to us.
I am thus pleased to share that we feel very confident that Kai is not autistic. He is waving and making eye contact and imitating sounds and actions, spontaneously initiating social and pretend play, speaking and signing a few words, and making his opinions known.
Sigh. Opinions. I jest sometimes that Isaac was actually easier at this stage than Kai. There's quite a bit of truth in that jest, though - Isaac at 15 months was a sweet, often overwhelmed, little guy who would find one safe, manageable, easily repeatable thing and would focus on that. He didn't fight when you wanted to get him dressed or change the gameplan from house to car to daycare to whatever. When we went out, he'd always fall asleep in his carseat or stroller as his sensory system just gave up. He was nearly silent, never screamed, rarely cried.
Not developmentally what you wanted. But easy.
Kai is hard right now. Wonderful, engaging, amazing, also sweet...but hard. He wants to do everything himself from putting on his own socks to walking up and down stairs to walking to the car to feeding himself with a spoon...all things he will eventually be able to do, but now is appropriately beyond him. And when he fails, or when I won't let him, say, walk from the bank to our car in the busy, death-defying, parking lot, he sits down on the ground kicking his legs, smacking the floor, and wailing.
He is LOUD. He makes himself heard. In our crazy house with Isaac stimming and various media playing and Andrew and I talking, Kai makes himself heard over all the hustle and bustle. I'm proud. It's what I want. But yowza.
There is pay-off, of course. I wish you could have seen Kai's pride when he finally figured out how to use the Jack in the Box all by himself. Or heard him say, "Mama! Pocoyo!" while pointing that chubby index finger towards the television (more on tv below). Or watch him clasp his hands together when I say "quiet hands" (usually when he's about to dump over the kitchen trash can, or throw something in the toilet) and then get puffed up when I say "great job doing quiet hands!" 'cause he knows he done good.
His smiles and laughter are loud too. And wonderful.
He remains tall and lean - in the 85th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. We have to put him in 18 month clothes for that height, but I'm going to have to see about toddler suspenders or something because his waist can't always pull off the larger size. He is a strong and confident walker, running with a slightly drunken tilt full-speed at everything. He can climb amazingly well - we have to watch our we find him on top of tables.
At the doctors for his well-baby visit this week I set something I didn't want him playing with on top of the counter. He pushed the chair over to the counter, climbed up, stood up on the chair, and reached the object - then looked at me and grinned. Smart and strong. And sassy.
He has hit or surpassed absolutely every milestone except he does not make the "D" sound or say "daddy". He does know who Andrew (and Isaac for that matter) is - if I say, "can you give this to Daddy?" he does. Just no "dadadadada" happening. It drives me nuts that when I bring this up, people start talking about how he's not autistic. Yes, I know. I live with autistic. I know Kai's not.
But that is a big speech step that he's just...skipping...and I'd like to know if kids who do this need help to get it, or if he'll just swing back around and eventually figure out "d"s...
Television. The AAP says no screen time until 2 years old. Hmmm. With Isaac at this age, he was at daycare all day, and I let him watch a DVD of Veggie Tales at night while I made dinner. I'm doing similar with Kai, except there are a few more times a specific show is inserted into the day since he's home with me all day. Example - when I'm not teaching, from 8-8:30am he watches Sid the Science Kid while I have coffee and eat breakfast and read the newspaper (or, you know, check my websites). In the afternoons, he and Isaac both watch Pocoyo from 4:30 to 5:00 so I can have some time to get X done (usually something mission critical like paying bills or filling out forms, occasionally just time to myself). If I haven't showered in a millions days, I'll put on a show and duck in and out while Kai's watching.
I figure as long as the total hours aren't huge, as long as I'm not letting him just veg and zone, as long as it's done deliberately, for a specific purpose, with a defined end time, as long as I've seen and chosen the speicfic show, as long as I'm careful to counter balance tv time with engaged time with me and out in the world...then I don't care. It makes our lives better when I get 20 minutes to focus on one specific thing now and again.
And I will say this...we have some friends who do the 0 television thing, which is fine and I respect. But. If they come over and Isaac is watching a show (which we often do when company is coming over so Isaac is better able to stay calm), Kai is ignoring it. He's playing with his toys, with me, it's just background noise. The 0 television kids are glued to the screen, completely unable to break away or hear what is being said to them. I think in this crazy world with so much media, so many screens all around us, so much information coming in - the ability to filter and ignore media is a good skill to have. I think it will serve Kai well.
We just have to stay on top of things.
I am thus pleased to share that we feel very confident that Kai is not autistic. He is waving and making eye contact and imitating sounds and actions, spontaneously initiating social and pretend play, speaking and signing a few words, and making his opinions known.
Sigh. Opinions. I jest sometimes that Isaac was actually easier at this stage than Kai. There's quite a bit of truth in that jest, though - Isaac at 15 months was a sweet, often overwhelmed, little guy who would find one safe, manageable, easily repeatable thing and would focus on that. He didn't fight when you wanted to get him dressed or change the gameplan from house to car to daycare to whatever. When we went out, he'd always fall asleep in his carseat or stroller as his sensory system just gave up. He was nearly silent, never screamed, rarely cried.
Not developmentally what you wanted. But easy.
Kai is hard right now. Wonderful, engaging, amazing, also sweet...but hard. He wants to do everything himself from putting on his own socks to walking up and down stairs to walking to the car to feeding himself with a spoon...all things he will eventually be able to do, but now is appropriately beyond him. And when he fails, or when I won't let him, say, walk from the bank to our car in the busy, death-defying, parking lot, he sits down on the ground kicking his legs, smacking the floor, and wailing.
He is LOUD. He makes himself heard. In our crazy house with Isaac stimming and various media playing and Andrew and I talking, Kai makes himself heard over all the hustle and bustle. I'm proud. It's what I want. But yowza.
There is pay-off, of course. I wish you could have seen Kai's pride when he finally figured out how to use the Jack in the Box all by himself. Or heard him say, "Mama! Pocoyo!" while pointing that chubby index finger towards the television (more on tv below). Or watch him clasp his hands together when I say "quiet hands" (usually when he's about to dump over the kitchen trash can, or throw something in the toilet) and then get puffed up when I say "great job doing quiet hands!" 'cause he knows he done good.
His smiles and laughter are loud too. And wonderful.
He remains tall and lean - in the 85th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. We have to put him in 18 month clothes for that height, but I'm going to have to see about toddler suspenders or something because his waist can't always pull off the larger size. He is a strong and confident walker, running with a slightly drunken tilt full-speed at everything. He can climb amazingly well - we have to watch our we find him on top of tables.
At the doctors for his well-baby visit this week I set something I didn't want him playing with on top of the counter. He pushed the chair over to the counter, climbed up, stood up on the chair, and reached the object - then looked at me and grinned. Smart and strong. And sassy.
He has hit or surpassed absolutely every milestone except he does not make the "D" sound or say "daddy". He does know who Andrew (and Isaac for that matter) is - if I say, "can you give this to Daddy?" he does. Just no "dadadadada" happening. It drives me nuts that when I bring this up, people start talking about how he's not autistic. Yes, I know. I live with autistic. I know Kai's not.
But that is a big speech step that he's just...skipping...and I'd like to know if kids who do this need help to get it, or if he'll just swing back around and eventually figure out "d"s...
Television. The AAP says no screen time until 2 years old. Hmmm. With Isaac at this age, he was at daycare all day, and I let him watch a DVD of Veggie Tales at night while I made dinner. I'm doing similar with Kai, except there are a few more times a specific show is inserted into the day since he's home with me all day. Example - when I'm not teaching, from 8-8:30am he watches Sid the Science Kid while I have coffee and eat breakfast and read the newspaper (or, you know, check my websites). In the afternoons, he and Isaac both watch Pocoyo from 4:30 to 5:00 so I can have some time to get X done (usually something mission critical like paying bills or filling out forms, occasionally just time to myself). If I haven't showered in a millions days, I'll put on a show and duck in and out while Kai's watching.
I figure as long as the total hours aren't huge, as long as I'm not letting him just veg and zone, as long as it's done deliberately, for a specific purpose, with a defined end time, as long as I've seen and chosen the speicfic show, as long as I'm careful to counter balance tv time with engaged time with me and out in the world...then I don't care. It makes our lives better when I get 20 minutes to focus on one specific thing now and again.
And I will say this...we have some friends who do the 0 television thing, which is fine and I respect. But. If they come over and Isaac is watching a show (which we often do when company is coming over so Isaac is better able to stay calm), Kai is ignoring it. He's playing with his toys, with me, it's just background noise. The 0 television kids are glued to the screen, completely unable to break away or hear what is being said to them. I think in this crazy world with so much media, so many screens all around us, so much information coming in - the ability to filter and ignore media is a good skill to have. I think it will serve Kai well.
We just have to stay on top of things.
